Love is The Healing Power
For years, my husband has suffered with pain, had difficulty walking and was becoming very limited in what he could do. Earlier this year, we found out he had a congenital defect in both his hips called Protrusio acetabuli . It is a big word which basically means the sockets of his hip joints are set too far back into the pelvis, restricting the range of motion. That plus the progression of arthritis meant it was time to fight back. A couple of weeks ago, he had the first of two total hip replacements. Recovery to a normal level of independence is slated to take from six weeks to three months, and full recovery from six months to a year. As we are walking the journey back to health and strength before the second surgery is done, here are some things I have learned.
How Deep is Your Love
Anybody remember this Bee Gees song? Sometimes, when you have been in love for so long, you can take for granted what you have because life just becomes, well, normal. However, when the apple cart is turned over, you can find yourself doing one of two things. You can either resent all the new obligations placed on you as a result of your spouse’s inability to do the things they normally do, or embrace the fact that you are part of their healing process and serve and honor your spouse as you would any other person who needed help. Yes, your patience may be tried and you may get agitated, but remember to keep your focus on the outcome of the journey. Just when you think you couldn’t love your spouse any more than you do, you realize the importance of making every second count and the importance of saying, “I love you”.
When the Patient isn’t Patient
There are times in my own life when I have been the patient, and I haven’t been very patient in the recovery process. You just want life to get back to normal ASAP. Sometimes, you need to tell your spouse to give themself the same grace they would give to you or someone else. Many times our spouses take their cues based on how we react. If we are impatient with our spouse, chances are they will feel guilty or feel like they are a burden, which can hinder the healing process. Remember, healing can be a long process and it will help your spouse to know on good or bad days you are by their side and committed to their well-being.
There is nothing more powerful than praying with and for our spouse. This will be your foundation and the strength to get you through the valleys. Prayer has the ability to give peace and comfort, and to calm the pain in ways no medication can. The human touch of holding your spouse’s hand and praying together keeps you strong and able to face whatever lies ahead. Prayer encourages and keeps your hearts united as one. Prayer is the glue which keeps us connected to God knowing we can’t truly do anything completely on our own, but only through the power of Christ.
Rest and Relax
Remember it is important to get proper rest and relaxation. Guard your schedule and don’t be afraid to say “No” to things you know you can’t commit to. It is tiring physically, emotionally and mentally as you keep track of medications, appointments and your spouse’s well-being along with your own. If you need to take a break, rest when your spouse is resting or ask for help. People want to help, often times they just don’t know how because they don’t know the need. Having someone come for a visit so you can get out for a twenty minute walk is good therapy for both.
Love truly makes all the difference in healing, whether we are healed here or in heaven. It is Jesus’s love which ultimately heals both our physical and soul wounds and restores us back to perfect health. It is never fun to watch someone we love go through difficult times, but we can trust that God will always be by our side caring for us because of his deep love for each of us.
Love is more than a band-aid. Love is the healing power!